You're Ana.
You insult your teammates several times per minute. You screech into your mic that your team's DPS need to switch because you're doing better than they are, even though you don't have any damage medals. You cry that you're the only one who's ever on the point, although you have no medals for being on the point, and so on. You lose the match. As you break your second monitor this week, you wonder why you're not a grandmaster yet. After all, Ana is used by grandmasters, so you should be one too by now.

What went wrong?